No words.

There are no words that can begin to explain how I am feeling right at this very moment. After a fun filled night with some of the best women I know, I came home to spend some much needed time with John. For those of you who don't know, I LOVE 20/20, Dateline NBC, and 48 Hours Mystery. These shows, for one reason or another- I enjoy watching. We settled in for the night to watch Dateline about a young women named Brooke Willburger. She was from Portland and was even a student at BYU for a short time. It was all about her murder than occured in 2004. As I sat and watched this show I became overcome with emotion. Especially because of how the family interviews took place. Brooke's family are LDS and you could tell from the very first words that came from their mouths. Brooke's mom Cami, hardly cryed during this interview- and I could see how, because I was in tears. I was in tears as I heard of how she came to be abducted, beaten, and left for dead in the woods. I was in tears as I heard her siblings talk about her in such an endearing manner. I was in tears as I heard what her mother would say about all that happened. It finally dawned on me that she knew that on a day in May of 2004, would not be the last day she saw her daughter. She was so optimistic and positive in these interviews because she WOULD see Brooke again. I am in tears now because of how profound that really is. That we have a plan and the end never really is the end. That families are forever and pain and hurt and anger mean just a small fraction of what is in store for us after we die. I know I don't usually post on here this kind of thing, but I can't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude and love. I will get to see those who have passed before me and my family is forever. I went up to see Charlotte before going to bed and I can't find the words for how scared and excited I am for my kids to grow up. But knowing they are mine forever makes things not seem so scary. I am just so grateful for God's plan for us and that we have a Savior who died for us so that we may live forever as families.

My Johnny

Took this video a few days ago and it just makes me smile. I love you Johnny. You are so fun to be around. So full of life and I am so grateful that you are mine. Thank you for your kisses, smiles, and kindness towards me. I hope you'll always be as sweet as you are now.

Kicked my trash!

I was really debating if I was going to work out today, but at 4:30 pm I decided that I might as well do it and get it over with. I have been doing the 30 day shred by Jillian Micheals, but I tried a different DVD of hers today. "Trouble Zones" This comes with 7 different training levels that target: saddle bags, abs, arms and thighs. While doing the workout, it was like something hit me! THis is FUN! This is working! I really enjoyed how many different leveld there where and that you caould work through them at your own pace. I made it through 5 levels today and am very pleased! Hope tomorrow will be just as fun....

Back in the saddle again....

Well, the last two days I have worked out and tracked my eating. It's so hard to get back into the groove of things again after taking so much time off. But I just have to do it. I have noticed in my daily routine that if I put on my work out clothes I am more likely to actually do it. So, that will be the plan. Enough boring stuff.
I just wanted to post some updates. The kids are doing well and I am doing much better now that I am on antibiotics. (had a double ear infection) Johnny is as wild as ever and we had a blast yesterday taking dad to Discovery Gateway for his first time. What a fun way to burn three hours! He is getting his eleventh tooth and has been such a snuggler latley. He gives out smooches to family and mom and dad, and the one who gets them the most is Char of course! Char is doing great too. She is sitting up all by herself, plays with toys and we are working on eating solids. She is starting to get a routine, but the only hard part is that her naps and Johnny's one nap take up the entire day! From 9:30 am-2:30 pm, I am home, now don't get me wrong, this means alot of downtime for me, but- it makes it hard to go do things with others or to just get out in general if I don't want her to fall asleep in her car seat. All well- even when she is tired, she is still a sweetie. It does seem now that things are regulating and I don't feel so rushed and uptight and maybe it is because I have been staying home more due to weather and the nap situation. I do though VERY MUCH look forward to Spring. My best buds Tara annd Lisa will be having babies and I can't wait to meet those baby boys! I can't wait to go outside and get some genuine Vitamin D, rather that the tanning bed. I have a feeling that this Summer is going to be a blast. Gateway Fountains, parks, zoo, play outside, swimming.... the list goes on and on and I am so excited! The kids are growing so fast and each day is a new adventure in one way or another.... Johnny has really loved to read books and has started talking a little bit more. I have been worried on occasion that he doesn't talk enough for his age, but he understands what I say and I look forward to our special time together right after his nap when we snuggle up togther and read some of his favorite books. (This book he makes me read over and over and over- "Potty" - by Leslie Patricelli, "Foot book"- by Dr. Suess, "Hop on Pop") he even has started liking some t.v. programs! (curious George and Cat in the hat knows alot about that, dinosaur train) we even had a blueberry smoothie together! Johnny has really started becomeing my little pal and always makes things funny and interesting. He insists on putting battery operated toys in the tub and gets all upset when they, for some odd reason, quit working! Another sweet find is finding what he has stuck down the heating vents around the house, anybody missing a toothbrush? He also gets up underneath our coffee table and lifts in clean up off the air with his legs!
Char is now thinking about crawling. Gettin up on her hands and haunches trying to pull forward! She smiles of course all the time and has been talking up a STORM! She also, I am afraid to say, is becoming quite a mommy's girl. When I leave the room, it's like I am not coming back and she is devistated! All I have to do is pop my head back in the room and she smiles at me! I love her chubby leg rolls and the way she scrunches up her nose when she smiles. She was a little sick a couple weeks back, but I was the only one who noticed because no matter what, Char is happy and pleasent. Even after three days of not having gone #2! Not looking forward to those fireworks! Char also laughs at Johnny all the time. All he has to do is stand in front of her and she just starts giggling! I love these babies and don't knoe where I would be with out them! Well, this is a lond post, but hey- not evertone I love knows what is going on with the kids.... thanks for reading.

Days like today

I know that a storm is coming soon... this weekend said the news, but the last several days have given me false hope of seeing Spring. The sun has been out, the temps are higher than 30, and I heard birds chirping outside my window yesterday morning. It makes my mood lighter, I am more patient with my kids, and I overall actually feel like getting things done along with spending much needed time outside. I am going to be reallt upset when this storm hits. I know, I know, it's only January. But I can't help but wish it was almost March. Please get here soon Spring, I need you for my sanity!

Cousins

Just a few pics I took of all the kids while I spent a week in Price with my sister and mom.

Oh the sickness and a vacation-well, sort of

As you might have read, Monday was a day filled with alot of things accomplished, but Tuesdayand the rest of this week for that matter are NOT. I woke up Tuesda morning with a sore throat, achey muscles, a pounding head, and PINK EYE. My mom flys in Tuesday night. WE pick her up and Wednesday we head to Price for the week. It is now Sunday and I haven't done a lick of anything active, unless you count loading and unloading bags from the car. I have been so sick and now my babies are too, which makes things even more difficult. I hope tomorrow will be the start of a new week and a better feeling me!