30 day Blog Challenge

I saw this on Sarah's blog and it sounds fun! Not like I don't post enough here,but here is the first challenge:

Post a photo of yourself and how your day was:

Not sure why I picked this photo of myself, maybe because I had a really good day the day this pic was taken. (taken right after I had Char) My day was GREAT! I spent it with my mom (who was in town for an overnight from Vegas) my sister,my kids and Grandma Shupe.We went to lunch at Zupas then went to Gate way mall to shop!!! I got a membership pass to Discovery Gateway- which by the way is the best place to take an active toddler on cold winter days ;-) looked at clothes and then hung out with my mom at her hotel till she had to lobby for the airport. My grandma took Johnny to her home to spend the night! I then came over to my dad's house where John was waiting for me as he had been there all day working on a 4 runner with his friend and my dad. We had pizza and got in the hot tub for a nice soak! LOVE the hot tub! Love my family!

Santa

Went to Latyon hills mall today with the kids and thought for sure Johnny would lose it. We thought for sure he would cry and be completly terrified. but just like Johnny always does, he suprised me. No crying, just serious. Just thought I would post the pic. It makes me laugh!

I am missing it.

I am just gonna vent.

Time is going by way too fast and it scares me. I feel like most days I am just trying to make to the next. I am looking at the clock- waiting for bedtime, downtime, naptime. What am I thinking? Tonight, after a busy day with some family. I put Johnny down for bed and proceeded to take care of Char. As I sat and held her, looking at the clock for her bedtime, I realized what I was doing. I was simply holding her. Not really paying attention. Not really enjoying our alone time together. It hit me as I started getting her ready for bed, that I am missing it. I am missing Char grow up. I am with her 24/7 and am not even noticing what I should. She smiled at me. Now don't get me wrong. I KNOW Charlotte. I know her so well, that it comes second nature for me. I know that she is tired because she nussles into my neck and breaths really fast and snorts too. I know when she is hungry when she is face to face with me and "kisses" me. I know when she just wants me when she talks loud, but doesn't cry because she wants attention. She has such a calm deminor. She possesess this all the time. When she smiles, she smiles wide. Mouth WIDE open and her nose wrinkles. She is into grabing anything she can now and of course putting it into her mouth. She makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. There is an overwhelming guilt that comes to surface as I lie in bed at night, going over the day. Did I kiss Johnny good night? Is he cranky because of a tooth or something else? Is Char eating enough? She seems more tired than usual... is she getting sick? How long did I actually spend time playing with the kids? or was I too fixated on dinner, laundry, cleaning, my own selfishness (friends, phone, computer) Tonight I have much emotion as I try to put to words how much I really do want to remember this all. Not just the good stuff, but the bad too. I remember before I had Charlotte, I was spending alot of time with a friend of mine that has three very young children very close in age. I remember her trying to make everything fair, everything equal. She didn't want anyone to feel left out. She seemed to feel guilty. I just thought to myself... what's a one yaer old and a two year old gonna remeber? Not much I was sure. It all makes sense to me now. It doesn't matter how young or old your babies are, they need just as much love, attention, guidence, help and discipline as the next baby.I just hope that I can try to be more attentive to what it is I am doing as a mom. Because I really don't want to miss it. Before I know it, these babies will be all grown up and might not have time for me. I love you my babies- don't grow up to fast.

Grateful

My Savior

Most would say that they too are grateful for Christ. I just felt that I should actually come out and say it. I am so very grateful for the life Jesus lived and the example he led. I have a pretty good idea of where I would be without him. And it's a scary thought. Whenever my life gets hard or too challenging, I know that Christ knows how I am feeling! He feels my hurt, my pain, frustrations, and weaknesses. Who better to call on when I feel inadequte and at my worst. I am also grateful for the Christ like people in my life that I know have been sent here to save me! Some times I wonder if my life would be less complicated if I didn't have the knowledge of the church... what a ridiculious thought! How many blessings would I have missed and continue to miss if not for the knowledge of what I know that is true. I spent all day yesterday scrambling around trying to get the kids ready for Thanksgiving dinner, make yams, tidy my house, get John up for work and in all the chaos- Not to mention that Johnny fell on our metal bed frame and got a black eye and Charlotte had a COMPLETE blow out right before we left the house, then did I then realized that I lost what I was suppossed to have felt all day- a feeling of gratitude and Thanksgiving. I am again grateful for Christ's love for me. A love he freely gives me.

I am so blessed........

and i feel like i've found my way. i thank God for all i've been given at the end of everyday. i have been blessed, with so much more than i deserve. to be here with the ones that love me and to love them so much it hurts. i have been blessed.

My Big John

Wheeling in our backyard

(Skyline Drive)

This great state and country

Gotta put a shout out to Skywest!

Many thanks to dad for putting

those birds in thr air!

FAMILY

MY BABIES

Sal Gal

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA SALLY!

I know it's a few days early and you really turn 46 on Sunday, but I just wanted to give a shout out to my mommy dearest for your Birthday! Mom, just want to thank you for all you have done for me. Past and present. I never really appreciated you until I became a mother myself. As I care for my children on a daily basis, I can't help but think of all you did for me growing up. I am up late at night with a screaming newborn- not sure how to help her, not sure what she wants.... but I can think of you and wonder what you would say and I begin to feel at ease. The week you came to stay with me after I had Charlotte was a real eye opener for me- I realized truly what kind of mother you were and are. I remember after you left- there were little touches here and there around the house that made me miss you, miss you so much I cried for about a week after you had to go. I missed your positivity, your sense of humor, and most of all, your patience. If it be in person or over the phone- you teach me patience. I get wound up so tight somethimes, it's hard to breathe. I worry probably a little too much and can't help myself. You put things back into perspective for me. I miss you all the time and even though you haven't lived here for several years now, it doesn't make it any easier. I wish that you were just a short car ride away, I wish that if you needed me, I could be there in a matter of seconds. I am really happy that you are in a happy point in your life, and you deserve it mom. You deserve all of it. A chance to finally be and do all the things you couldn't. It doesn't suprise me that you are as good of a Grandma as you are a Mom. My babies love you and I am sure always will. It's always so fun when you come into town and we just spend time together talking and laughing. You are such a fun loving, light hearted, care free person. I hope someday I can gain these qualities, sooner, rather than later. I love you Mom. Thanks for being you through everything. You've never waivered. You speak your mind, keep things simple, and most of all- you love me. Happy Birthday Mom- we love you!

Baby Love

Rachele, Grandma Sally, Char, Mandy, Great Grandma Shupe, and Johnny

We took a photo like this one when I was preggo with Johnny, this one is TONS cuter!

Had to put this one in of me and my Char!

Rachele holding Johnny when he was a few weeks old.

Last week I had the pleasure of spending it with my pregnant sister, mom, and Grandma. They were all in town for the baby showers Rachele has been having so she can get ready for her baby Jack that is due December 27th. It was so fun to see her open her gifts and put those cute adorable outfits up to her small belly to see if they would fit. I do have to say that I was very suprised when Rachele called me to tell me she was pregnant. I thought it would be several years before my kids had any cousins. It is quite a thing to see my baby sister all grown up and having kids of her own... It wasn't too long ago, that I was Rachele's protector. When we were growing up, Rachele relied alot on me, but I too relied alot on her. It was always nice to know she would be there to lean on if I needed her, and to this day, she still saves me. It's a peculiar thing, what Rachele and I share. I would say that a majority of my childhood memories usually have Rachele in them. We faced alot of hard trails together and I knew from an early age that I was to take care of Rachele, not only as a child, but for the rest of her life. Sometimes we don't see eye to eye on some things, and I tend to give unwanted advice, but that's only because I want what I think is best for her. Rachele know's herself best, but I can't help myself because I have done it most my life. There were times that Rachele and I were not so close, 4 years age difference made a big difference when I got married and she was still in High School. But it seems that we are now at the same stage in life and I am so grateful! Last summer after I had Johnny, I was stuggling with being a new mom. It was still cold and depresing outside and I felt shut in. Rachele was my ray of sunshine. She would come over and stay with me and for someone who didn't have any children of her own, it was like we were on the same wave lengths when it came to Johnny. It's still that way now. It's like we are always on the same page and I trust her completly with my kids. She adores them and they adore her. I love you Rachele. Thank you for being the best sister, the best Aunt, and the best listener when I needed you most. There is no doubt in my mind that you won't take on all of the challenges motherhood brings. I know you worry and that is something you will have to overcome, but I know you will be the best mom for that baby Jack, he is so dang lucky to have you. I hope that in the near future I will be able to help you as you have helped me. I can only be so lucky.

Raising Hope

I have to say that I really do enjoy watching this show and although some out there would find it trashy and inappropriate at some parts, usually the loose ends tie up and there is a special meaning or particular thought that makes me smile Tonight's ending was about being a dreamer. A young man in the show is having a hard time dealing with the fact that his parent's want to buy lottery tickets or pick up used and free furniture off the curb. Because they feel that one day they will beable to buy a new boat named "aqua-holic" or put that used furniture in a home they will some day get with that lottery money. It showed the parent's spending their lives saying someday. Wishing for that big break and at the end the young man says to his daughter, "It's ok to be a dreamer, because otherwise- your just sleeping." Something to keep in mind if you, like me, are a dreamer ;-) I really do enjoy watching this show.